Any horse can teach, not anyone will learn

Sometimes it takes a big slice of humble pie before a person will acknowledge their lack of knowledge. For some it is truly hard to accept and admit where they're at on their journey. Our society teaches us to conform and we spend a lifetime trying to be just like the person we're told we should emulate. So we buy brand-named clothes and wear what's in style and speak the current lingo. We are considered weird when we don't conform...
So it stands to reason that it's hard for most people to accept themselves just as they are.
So only the people who learn to be honest with themselves can truly learn from the horse. The horse will always be honest. He will always express himself. He will always be your mirror. But if your eyes are closed you will never see what they are reflecting - you will never be able to learn.

Like any behavior in life, the road to self acceptance, humbleness, and inner honesty take PRACTICE. You have to apply it to every situation. You have to use every circumstance as opportunities to practice these qualities. The more you practice, the more developed that quality will be.

I used to use force with horses. I could get just about any horse to bow to my will. So when I made the conscious choice to change that in myself, it was not easy. Every single interaction with horses had to be used as a learning opportunity. A chance to practice letting go of the frustration and ego, giving up my agenda. There were times when it felt like I took ten giant steps backward (usually a donkey would push my buttons, revealing the old habits just below the shiny new surface). It seemed I would improve by the tiniest increments - it was easy for me to overlook any progress I had made because the improvements were at times microscopic to my eye. Letting go of ego was the hardest part of it all. So many of my patterns were wrapped up in ego. And my awareness of what behaviors were egotistical at their core came slowly. Even my perception of leadership was twisted with dominance.
Letting go of these patterns -- essentially everything I did -- was exhausting. I experienced a sense of loss as these old habits vanished, even though those habits were negative and unhealthy. I was losing parts of myself that were familiar.

But as I replaced the old habits of force and make and allowed my ego to shrivel and wither, I felt lighter in my spirit and happier with every growing positive encounter with my horses. The successes finally did come and fueled my desire to continue to grow in this new method of love, compassion, understanding, and benevolent leadership.

The most important concept I have learned so far on my personal journey has been this: love is key. Without love nothing is possible. Without an understanding of what love is, you're lost. Every behavior we express comes from an instinctual place of survival. All of our issues stem from keeping yourself safe. Know-it-alls, mean people, brown-nosers, to name a few, are driven to those behaviors out of safety and comfort. They've been hurt or broken somewhere along their path and have developed mechanisms to cope and keep themself safe from further pain. They seriously lack love -- from others and for themselves.

A horse will reflect who you are at any given moment. If you want to see yourself in all honesty, interact with a horse. They are an extremely special and unique creature here for that very purpose. I have no doubt this is the truth.

If you're ready, come along for the ride.

This place, ending a chapter

The past few months have been tumultuous, to say the least. We were informed last fall that the property we rent was being sold, but not to worry because the new owners were excited for us to stay and continue our arrangement. Just a few short weeks ago that plan came crumbling down when we were told we did indeed have to pack our bags and go. 

We've lived on this farm for 5 years. I've built my horse boarding business here. It was this place where I realized my dream to pursue teaching Horsemanship. It was here where I made the decision not to force my horses anymore and where I committed to learning how to be with horses in a positive way. It was this farm where my life took a significant change of direction, for the better. There are places on this farm where I wept, and some where I have celebrated. I have made lifelong friends, and lost a few who I thought were friends. I founded a nonprofit animal advocacy group on this soil, literally lying in the dirt with my newly rescued Holstein calf burping in my ear. I saved lives and added them to my family. I multiplied my responsibilities twenty-fold under these oak canopies.
I realized a dream or two. I made them come to fruition. I made countless mistakes... And learned from some of them. I suffered and perservered, mentally, emotionally, and physically through winter, spring, summer, and fall.
 

This place, whether I loved it or hated it, provided a home for me and my family. 

This is where I got my horse back after FIVE long years of separation. And 5 years later this is where I had to retire her. These weeds and grass bared witness to the beautiful repairing of my relationship with Satin. The trees provided shade while I obsessively learned to throw a 45' line or flick a savvy string on the end of a carrot stick with Satin watching nearby... The dirt and leaves absorbed my sweat, blood, and tears from years of growth. The pastures have heard my cries and my praises. 

Koko was born here -- The only birth under my care. Two horses died here. Others were 'born again' here.

I've gotten to know our resident red-shoulder hawks and our pair of barred owls. I watched baby owls play in my water trough and shared in their laughter. I've met venomous snakes - some huge ones and some tiny - and relocated them a few blocks away. I named a few raccoons, and gave refuge to a silly opposum named Butters. I've been spooked in the dark of night by many an armadillo.

At times it seems I've been here for a hundred years, and other times it feels like yesterday John and I were clasping hands with grins on both our faces, excited for the future of this place. But it wasn't always daisies and roses... More often than not it felt like a tremendous struggle to inhabit this dilapidated mobile home under the canopy of ever-falling limbs atop dusty, sandy soil. 

Alas, this chapter of our lives is about to conclude. I will take away endless learning experiences and priceless moments. We are about to embark on a new path, the next chapter. I expect to use the tools and knowledge I've gained from this place and the last 5 years for living an even better chapter this time.

Is Kathy right for you and your horse?

All trainers and instructors have a different approach to teaching the horse or human, based on their personal experiences. We all get to decide who we want to teach us and/or our horse(s)!

I used to ride and train horses through force. As a girl I was known for my skill with troubled horses, even if it meant spanking a horse into some sort of tolerance and submission to my dominance. After spending the last 5 years intensely learning how to become more mentally and emotionally fit, how the horse thinks, and how to be a loving leader, I now approach horsemanship with love at the core, leadership in myself and my students, and equal respect and understanding of our horse partners. Nowadays, the only challenge I face is how to address an issue, be it in the human or the horse, without ever resorting to ego, agenda, force, make, or impatience.

From bucking, biting, striking, and rearing, to lack of impulsion, unwillingness, 'laziness' -- all these behaviors can be changed through partnership and without domination. I can help your horse, but it is up to you to gain the knowledge and skills to maintain such a positive relationship.

No two horses are alike, just like no two people are the same. We come from different places and have different life experiences. Each horse and human is on their own unique journey. I do not expect a horse to learn something in 30-days. I expect him to learn as he is able, on a time-frame that preserves his dignity and comfort, but pushing him to thresholds and showing him how brave he can be.

Are you a math buff? What's that you say? Math is your least favorite subject? How about I tell you that you have to learn advanced calculus in 30 days. Why? Well, because your dad is paying a tutor to do it in that specific amount of time. And because your disdain for math is so... strong, you know the next 30 days will likely be the most unpleasant, stressful 30 days of your life. And when it's over? Will you understand it? If I am a great teacher then you probably can retain 20% of it for a few months. But how will you feel after being force-fed information that makes your brain hurt and your body ill? Will you ever look at math the same after that?

I don't put a time-table on our horses. Some learn surprisingly fast. Some have seeming insurmountable baggage that must be dealt with first before learning a skill can even come into the picture. Some people have tremendous, life-long emotional baggage that will simply not allow them to progress very quickly until their emotional fitness has been addressed.

I am a holistic teacher. I care about your overall well-being. Keeping you happy and progressive are two of my biggest goals. My passion is to effectively and lovingly share what I have learned and continue to learn so that the amazing, beautiful partnership that is available, waiting in the ether of potential to be tapped into, can be enjoyed by you and your horse.